Our life in London an ode to friendship

"There’s not a word yet for old friends who’ve just met.”

– From “I’m Going Back There Someday” (sung by Gonzo in 1979's “The Muppet Movie”)

A year into our United Kingdom adventure, we have a nice group of friends thanks to our first London pal, Bob Jung. We met him 15 years ago via mutual chums, Rick and Mary Morris. Our paths first crossed with theirs in 1993 thanks to a homebrewing club in Lake Arrowhead, California.

Vee and Reiver at The Famous Cock pub near our 
first flat in London with Bob Jung (left rear) and a
bunch of his mates who are now our mates.          

We liked the Morrises immediately and slowly got to be great friends with them over the years. What finally cemented our relationship was when we started traveling together. Finding travel partners is tricky. Even people who love each other deeply don’t travel well together due to close quarters; transportation struggles; different sleep schedules; varying interests; and lots of decisions that need to be made daily.

We have loved traveling with Rick and Mary from our first trip with them, 21 years ago, to New England. We’ve journeyed together at least annually since then and nary a cross word has been spoken. One of the greatest favors they have done us, though, was to invite us to get close to Bob.

We met him in 2007 when we he was staying with them after their move to Seattle. They had been friends for more than 20 years already. We spent a few days in the city together, then went as a group to Victoria, British Columbia. Bob is a very experienced traveler, and he was easy to get along with on that initial foray. He visited us in Northern California a few years after this, and we felt a real connection to him beyond our love for the same couple. We had become friends ourselves.

We had foxes circling us for handouts at this nice
members-only park in Central London. We've had
rain since then, so I imagine the grass is greener.  

Rick and Mary have been to visit Bob many times. We were finally able to tag along with them in 2017 to stay at his flat in Marylebone (Central London) before going as a group to the Edinburgh Fringe festival in Scotland. One of the loveliest parts of that trip was a dinner party Bob hosted at his home so his friends could see Rick and Mary. The Morrises had become close to them over the years, even hosting some of them for visits in the US. It was wonderful to see how much these people enjoyed each other.

I had become a bit obsessed with the UK years earlier (before we knew Bob) when we made two trips here for Matt’s military career, in 2004 and 2005. I love almost everything here but the washing machines.

During our 2017 trip, Matt and I talked about what to do after his retirement (set for early 2018). Maybe something big. He headed to a park for a run one day, and I went to the computer. I surreptitiously explored UK universities offering graduate programs in creative writing. Even though he had completed a commissioned book by this point, Matt was interested in changing his whole approach from his decades as a print journalist. 

Dinner at Bob's in May 2022. The host must be in
the kitchen.                                                             

Several programs in the capital fit the bill, including one at a school called City, University of London. He returned home from exercising to find me the keyboard.

“What are you looking at?” he asked. 

“Schools here for you.”

He laughed, but quickly realized I was serious. He never knows what I might do. I talked him into going over and checking it out. What harm could it do? It would only mean a huge disturbance in our lives, including temporarily moving away from a place we love, and where much of our family lives.

We visited the campus the next day. It was beyond quiet. Maybe even closed. We walked around the neighborhood, then had lunch nearby. It was no Marylebone, but we agreed we could live there. Matt read more about the program and got a dreamy look in his eyes. Then the Air Force extended his career two more years. We visited London again with Rick and Mary in 2018 and 2019, staying at Bob’s and seeing his friends, but didn’t really talk more about university until sometime in 2020 after Matt was truly done with military service.

Me and Reiver at the studio of 
our pal, Simon Williams: artist,
library staffer and music fan.    

He was accepted by the school in April 2021 for a fall start. The decision to move was made easier because Rick, Mary and Bob had already turned their friends into our friends. When I found a possible flat to rent online, we contacted one of them (Fred Beltrandi) to see if he would go see it in person for us. It is only a mile or so from where he lives with the wonderful Jo. Not only did he do that, but he contacted the landlord in Gibraltar to tell her what needed to be fixed before he ever told us he had been in the place! We have no doubt any other FOB (Friend of Bob) would have done the same favor for us.

Knowing Bob is knowing his friends. We no longer think it will be just the three of us if he invites us to Sunday roast, to have a pint or, well, anything. It is a gift either way. We have not made any friends on our own (outside of a few from university) and barely know our neighbors (despite our few weak attempts), so having this tight knit group of friends has been a godsend. We truly love them.

We are now always invited to their get-togethers. We just went as a group to see a Rolling Stones cover band in Putney, one village over from ours. A week before this, we all got together for a picnic at “Bob’s private park” (he lives in an area whose residents have the only access to it) when other FOBs were visiting from California. It is wonderful to see lifelong friends getting together, let alone be a part of it. We feel so lucky that they include us (and Reiver) in their gatherings.

They even have me watching sports. Last winter I hung out with Bob and some of the FOBs to watch Liverpool beat Chelsea on penalty kicks to win football’s Carabao Cup, whatever that is. The game was played at London’s Wembley Stadium, but we watched it across town at The Famous Cock (I am not kidding), a pub near our then-flat in Islington: 

Sometime in spring we caught another footie match at the wonderful Hemingford Arms pub. I forget the details of that game; they don't matter.

In April a bunch of us went to see an ‘80s band, Red Guitars, that had reformed for a tour. We knew none of their songs but had a blast because we were there together.

Me and Bob having a pint along the Thames before
dinner and then a show by a Rolling Stones tribute  
band at a pub where the original group played in the
1960s.                                                                        

The Morrises came in May, so we saw the London friends more often then, including another group dinner at Bob’s home. Fred and Jo traveled out to  Cornwall to surprise Rick and Mary at a lunch Bob and Matt had planned during a 4-day trip we made to there by train. In June, we went to an open house at an art studio to support our pal, Simon Williams. We had been there a month earlier to purchase one of his works, a painting of a scene in The Regent's Park near Bob's home.

Bob doesn’t just have friends in London. In our search for the perfect village to move to, a year ago he arranged for us to meet Adelie and Andrew, friends who live in Henley-on-Thames. The next thing we knew, we were at a private club having a high tea, truly one of my favorite things. We loved their village; so charming. Beatle George Harrison lived there for many years. Adelie and Andrew could not be nicer or more fun. They invited us to a recent get-together with us and other FOBs that we met for the first time.  We had such a great time enjoying the company, their pool, drinks and food. Reiver got to play with four tiny dogs that day: their two, plus two they were dog sitting for a family member.

Mary and Rick opened this world to us. When we get together without them, we often thank them for loaning their friends to us. Knowing these wonderful Brits keep our homesickness at bay.